Broken Beyond Breaking

Last night I couldn't sleep...the insomniac in me decided to pay me a visit and I was wide awake while everyone in town was fast asleep. My mind wandered, wandered to the distant past when I slept in peace, without a care...a child with happy dreams and a world waiting to unravel before me. What have I become? Over the years, I have turned into a restless, sleep-deprived, hopeless junkie of some sorts. Now I wanna run away from that same world I so anticipated. Something is eating me alive. And I don't know what it is. Maybe I lost my way. Maybe I have become immune to what most people call building a future or living a 'normal' life is. I don't follow the norm anyways. yeah I'm an abnormal guy..some kind of beast that the 'normal' crowd won't appreciate. Not that I care anyways. I don't know what I'm waiting for. Neither do I know what keeps me going somehow. Sometimes I feel this is all a bore, a pseudo drama that needs to be staged in order to get by...to be equal...to be accepted. But why do I even have to get by? Who am I trying to impress? Why do I even have to?What am I? No wait, what the hell am I? haaaaaha! It's all such a joke and all the people are playing a dumb game. Isn't life rather funny? The things we do, the way we take the smallest of things and put them on a pedestal and worship them. The way we spend a lifetime chasing something that may not matter at all in the end. The way we give importance to the silliest of things that somehow keeps us hooked at the cost of other things. The way we pretend, the way we just float, the way we walk around in pieces. I saw myself trying to piece together a million shattered pieces of me. And I also saw myself being afraid of breaking again. You cannot break something that's already broken, can you? I laughed at myself. Then I fell asleep.

A Thousand Splendid Encryptions...

It's A Bar Coded Life!
Each one of us is a complex genetic Encryption walking this Earth from birth to death, speaking our minds, trying to prove our points, expressing, loving, hating, living and dying. We humans are living genetic algorithms in the form of a body and soul, each one unique on their own, yet collectively similar to one another. What's unique about you is something that can never be stolen or copied. Your looks, qualities, psyche, physical structure, IQ, choices you make and your lifestyle are often gene-dependent. But even within the same family, there can be people who are poles apart in the way they think and behave...that proves that each one of us is a unique genetic design. The way you are encrypted is based on your gene factor...and that's something that cannot be bought, borrowed or nicked. Isn't that marvellous! I find that really amazing. In a world where technology is breaking boundaries and going beyond the 'limit' of almost anything and everything, the one thing that technology hasn't conquered yet is the absolute decryption of your genetic encryption, so that we can 'copy-paste' it to produce multiples of YOU. I'm glad the world doesn't have that kind of technology yet, even if it does in future, I hope I don't live to see it! *cloning doesn't count cos it's fake as!*

P.S: The Picture above is just to add glam and glitz to the topic.

Wet Pants..

Come with me to a third grade classroom... ..
There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden,
there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet.
He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine
how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when
the boys find out he will never hear the end of it..
When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he
lives.
The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and
prays this prayer, "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five
minutes from now I'm dead meat."
He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her
eyes that says he has been discovered.
As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying
a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the
teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.
The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself,
"Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"
Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is
the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him
gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out.
All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around
his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the
ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else -
Susie.
She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. "You've done enough, you
klutz! "
Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy
walks over to Susie and whispers, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do
good.
Each and everyone one of us are going through tough times right now, but
God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can.

Keep the faith.

Self Tagged

Blogging for me is:

Identity of mine in the world of web.


'One' resolution for New Year:

Change my hair style. I am trying since 4 years and more.


Bike or Car (and why):

Car, I’ve three reasons for it

1. It’s safer than bike

2. I’ve always dreamt of going on a long drive with my soul-mate in a car.

3. While driving a car you can look into the eyes of.......... obviously you can guess??

In city roads with bumps and pit-holes with the girl by my side I prefer bikes. It's heaven.


A chance to fly or a chance to be invisible (and why):

Invisible, I suffer from Acrophobia (an extreme or irrational fear of heights).


I would love to love:

My parents, they deserve my love more than anyone in this world.


Most recent Dream I had:

Driving a BMW X6 racing the 120kmph mark in less than 20 seconds.


If I were to marry today with my Mom looks for me, I would:

If the girl is pretty, I would be delighted.

If the girl is not so ..., I wouldn’t marry and convince everybody that I’m underage (I’m actually 21 years old).


My Dream Girl is/would be:
Katrina Kaif or a look-alike of her(I just found one..!!)


Physics or mathematics (and why):

Physics, I understand it more and it is easier than mathematics.


Given a chance to paint the sky, I would (which colour):

White.


Favourite Poet (author I know):

Vairamuthu.


Favourite childhood story:

The crow,fox and the old lady...

I’ve heard many versions of it, my grandmother first narrated then I've read it many times.


If I were to compare moon to 1 thing, I would:

Incomparable.


Latest Crush:

Asin,(The List is big as well..!)


Favourite 4 letter word (tricky one):

Life, I know this is ridiculous but I’m obsessed with Life.


One thing I hate about Internet:

It’s addictive and it can make your life miserable if internet connection is disturbed.


Latest Lie that I told:

No, I can’t remember.


Hindi word I use most frequently:

Haan (Yes)


English word I use most frequently:

Of course, this is most used by all the engineering students.(P.S: I am a student no more still that josh lingers with me..)

Do you really need a GIRLFRIEND..?

“I need a girlfriend!” I said.

“So go, get one.” he replied.

“Come on….if this were so easy, I wouldn’t have called you for help!” I retorted. He smiled and sat on the chair. His face was calm and serene. His sole presence made me feel peaceful and soothing. He was God.

“It’s easy dear but only if you have a reason.”

“Reason….for what?” I asked getting confused.

“Its like give me one valid reason why you need a girlfriend, and I will give you one.” He spoke diligently.

“Sex.” I replied.

He laughed, may be on my answer or may be on me.

“You wanted a reason, I gave you one. Now why are you laughing?” I yelled trying to defend myself.

“Is that the only one?”

“Nopes, there are others too.”

“Write them on a paper in 10 minutes and give it to me.” He said and left for a coffee break.

So here’s what I wrote in my paper:

Why do I need a girlfriend?

1. I’ve got everything else I needed in my life, except a girlfriend.
2. I too want someone to accompany me while I study in ReadingRoom.
3. There’s a lot of time to waste, so better waste it with a girl.
4. Having a girlfriend makes you socially stable, mentally ‘less unstable’. Although I am not sure about the financial one.
5. I don’t like my life moving in a smooth way. I love problems. I love challenges. I need a girl.
6. After all, a girl is the most beautiful creation of God. She’s cute, she’s innoncent, she’s talkitive. She has the power of eliminating all your tensions and problems (and also creating new ones).

“Hmm…” God sighed after looking at my paper. “Is that all?”

“Yes sir.” I replied happily.

“Let me tell you one thing. We never ‘need’ a girlfriend, we always ‘choose’ it.” God said. I hate when he becomes so philosophical.

“I didn’t get you.“

“You shouldn’t “want” a girlfriend or “need” a girlfriend. You should choose to have one when you meet a woman that fits your criteria, won’t play silly games with you, and compliments your life, not impedes it.” Obviously, he was speaking something great and valuable.

“But I can’t wait for that to happen. If I haven’t found a girl in my last 18 years, what’s the guarantee that I’ll find one very soon?” I objected.

“You already have found one.”

“Are you talking about her?”

“Yep.” God said proudly. He knows everything about me, even more than me. “Why don’t you propose her?”

“Because I am afraid.” I replied. God had raised the critical point.

“Of what? Why you’ve to afraid when I am with you!”

“I am afraid of failure.”

“Without failure you’ll never know what’s a victory. Failure is the next step to success.”

“So now what should I do?” I asked. I was confused.

“Listen to your inner voice because its mine.” He said.

God was right. People think that having a girlfriend will make their life more meaningful or lively. Its a wrong notion. We should always keep our doors open until we find a girl who fits our criteria. Then we can choose to have a girlfriend. And when you’ve got such girl, don’t wait, just propose her. Tell her how much you love and care for her. Don’t be afraid of defeat, because whatever be the outcome, God will always be with you.

“God, one last question.” I said.

“Yes dear.“

“God, do you have a girlfriend?”

He got stunned by this question. He thought for a while and then opened his mouth.

“No. But I like someone.”

“Have you proposed her?“

He turned backside as if trying to avoid the question.

“God, I asked have you proposed her?” I inquired again.

“No.”

Color up Your Soul

Everything in life is temporary.


*Your looks wont be the same in 5yrs time
*Your yesterday's friends may not be here today
*What mattered to you last year may mean nothing to you this year
*You are not the person you were 10yrs ago
*You no longer believe in the same things you did ages ago
*People who were walking together with you may not be present in your life anymore
*Your job profile would have changed
*Your blogroll may have new names and the old ones must have been shed
*Your closet has a new dress/shirt/shoes
*Mum's making a new dish tonight
*Your Orkut account gets uploaded with new photos
*What you couldn't live without yesterday may be the very thing you're avoiding today
*You decide to take a new path in life
*The good times always seems to be in the past
*Old memories fade away as new ones are being made
*Someone you wanted so much in your life may no longer be your priority
*You replace your car tyres
*People no longer send hand-written letters
*You may have known someone called Arvind once upon a time...


Yes everything and everyone changes...and as things change around us, we too change to suit the circumstances...to fit in, to survive and to move on. Has anyone tried to live in the past? Past is a very big part of our Present...yet we cannot live in the Past. We just have to buck up and step into the Present, or else our Past may start to consume us. So, are you still clinging on to your past, that past love or that past beauty you possessed or that friend who was once in your life? Once you 'know' something(/someone) it can never be forgotten. But there's a difference between remembering and regretting. Do not regret. If something is no longer with you, it never was meant to be. If someone no longer wants you in their life, so be it. For nothing stays the same in life...not even you. You only have this MOMENT....so enjoy it. For there'll be a day when no more changes will take place in your life...when you won't be able to say or do anything, or even complain...and that'll be the day you breathe your last breath. So before that day comes around, live life to the fullest...get over petty issues...rise above all...be a trendsetter, not a follower...try to be kind, not superior...be happy anyways...be thankful for what you've got...share what you have more than others...put a smile on someone's face...be humble...help one another...be there for your mates...get over silly issues etc etc. Cos these are the changes you CAN make for yourself amidst the uncontrollable changes that Time does to you. Yes there are some changes that's within YOUR control too and that's what they are. Implement some changes in your soul...color the plain corners in...give it life and shine. Cos only you CAN do that CHANGE, and that is the only CHANGE in life that's within YOUR control. The rest don't matter much anyways.

Some Murphy's Laws

Murphy was a great philosopher who gave many laws regarding our daily lives. Most of them are very humourous, but still contain a few unsaid facts of life.

I’ve compiled some of them whom I thought are the funniest. Its absolutely not my creation, but copied shamelessly from an external source.This was done to share the thoughts and to make everyone grin.

LOVE LAWS

All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn’t taken, there’s a reason.
It’s always easier to get a partner if you already have one.
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. This constant is always zero.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.
The man shalt not win the argument he started.
The man shalt not win the argument he didn’t start.
If a man won an argument, it was just in his head.
Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

BUS LAWS:

If its raining, or cold or both the bus will be late.
If you’re running late the bus will be too
If you have no change then the bus driver won’t have any either
Whenever you get a seat with a pretty girl, she will start a cell phone conversation about her Boyfriend or Mothers hospital operation.

COMMERCE LAWS:

The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
The boss is always right.
The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired.
People don’t make the same mistake twice, they make it three, four, or five times.
When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

SEX LAWS:

Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

PS — All these are shamelessly copied from somewhere.;)

PS — Yeh, but still had to work hard ( for finding the source, and choosing the best ones.)

Hugs for Free..!!

The first thing I said when I came to know about "Free Hugs" Wow..What a concept..!!Ofcourse I was not aware of the social cause behind it. On the lighter sense, seeing somebody with the sign board saying "Sometimes a hug is all what we need! *Hugs*Free Hugs" people with traditional roots will claim that youngsters of today are trying to upset the social applecart. The other side of the coin, the youngsters take chance to have hugs from the opposite sex. C'mon Opposite attracts ,never can this attraction towards the other gender be upset either. Imagine ,you get banged by the beauty of the girl who you just saw in some multiplex or a mall , somewhere and give a hard sigh saying Will she be mine? The next moment you find her coming at you with the Free Hugs board. There you have your defining moment, for a second you feel God, fate everything on your side.That doesn't stop there. Take up the board yourself get your hugs and give back either. That's the spirit...God I am having my day...

On a serious note,as known Juan Mann of Australia who started this Free Hug Campaign. Loneliness and Depression were that factors that gave him this psychological and emotional idea. This is an obvious situation that occurs in the path of everybody's life.A hug at that juncture providing the warmth, rising the confidence is worth more than millions of bugs.This campaign is about many things which is not just having fun and being joyful but, like making someone’s day a little brighter, meeting people and showing the world that strangers aren’t so bad after all. It’s also about bringing people together and sharing a happy moment before heading back out into the world feeling a little lighter.

When sadness and feeling alone in the world engulf one's mind, a hug helps to talk to people, to share a laugh with someone, to see someone smile at you, to have somebody wrap their arms around you and reassure you that everything will be alright.

Everyone has problems and for sure mine haven’t compared. But to see someone who was once frowning, smile even for a moment, is worth it every time.

No discrimination of any sort. Willing to give free hugs to make you feel happy and make your day a pleasant one. If you live the concept, you can distribute free hugs to one and all, willing to accept a warm friendly hug. So hug someone today and make him happy for when you hug him, he will forget his worries (atleast for some time). BEWARE, this is highly INFECTIOUS and can have serious consequences (making the world smile).

So go ahead and start hugging (all those willing to accept them).

I JUST LEARNED THAT...

People who haven't understood you in years.. won't be able to do so ever.. so its better to get rid of them and move on with life..

There is no good in hurting yourself just coz you don't want them to feel bad.. after all you're not here to entertain them..

It may sound selfish.. but best for one at times.. nothing is more important than your own peace of mind..

Gaining Distance Losing Proximity

Everything in life is about Distance. You get too close you'll suffer or you'll suffocate another. You get too far you'll miss out or you'll hurt another. Maintaining the perfect distance in relationships and everything else is quite a daunting and difficult task. Cos everytime I tried to get closer to someone or something (closer than before), I have been slapped hard on my face. On the contrary, everytime I distanced myself from someone or something (just to keep my emotions safe), I have often felt lonely and lost, or have been mistaken as arrogant and proud. So what is the perfect distance then? Actually there's no perfect distance. Just be. Cos that perfect distance varies from person to person. There's no single definition for it. I tried to keep away from people...distanced myself from many of my friends here...I stretched the distance as much as I could. I ran an emotional marathon, trying to gain more and more 'kilometres' away from it all. But the distance that I had gone was only physical...mentally I wasn't one mile more away from this place. The physical miles I've collected on my run were empty and poor...cos there was no one to applaud and no one to give me a bottle of water half way through my run...cos I was only running a lonesome marathon. I learnt my lesson the hard way.





On the other hand, Closeness or proximity is not something that everyone can give or feel. But Distance is a term most people are used to and know of. Proximity is not for everyone cos not everyone knows how to connect emotionally and stay connected that way. So they choose to keep a 'distance' instead. While we all need to keep a healthy distance from everyone in our lives and in any relationship, always remember that keeping a distance does not mean there should be no 'proximity' at all. If you don't know how to keep a healthy distance (space) as well as maintain a good proximity (closeness) in a relationship, then it's time you take a good look at your inner self...for if your life is all distance and no proximity, then all the marathons you've been running are in vain...for all the physical miles you've gained so far are empty and poor in quality. In winning the marathon, you've lost in life. If you can't connect closely with people yet keep a healthy distance, if you're running away from it all, if you're afraid of what's to come, if you wanna end it all even before it's over, then you're running an empty race. For what's the purpose in gaining mileage if there's no one to stop and say Hi to?